6 Years Later

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Has it really been that long since I was full swing eating disorder? It’s crazy that I had to look at my Facebook albums to even figure out what year this was it was so long ago. I wanted to do a check-in because I know healthy food and exercise obsession is something that a lot of us struggle with. It’s part of my wellness story anyway, and through the ups and down has helped me learn a lot about myself.

Davida and I have spent some much needed R&R together the past few weeks talking about everything from business, to friendship, to wellness, to podcasts. She has really inspired me to finally sit down and just write. I’m so hard on myself when it comes to writing because I have people like her and my sister in my life where writing just seems so easy and seamless. While I always tell people I suck at writing; Davida has reminded me that “no Lee…you don’t suck at it, you just need to sit down and do it.” So here we go.

6 years later- a continuation of my eating disorder recovery story!

PS: I cut my hair ^^

If you are unfamiliar with my story…click HERE. That should help you understand things I’m referring to inside of this post!

So. It’s been a full 6 years since I was in the heat of my anorexia and exercise addiction. And then came the binge eating. Funny how it gets easier to say those words as time goes on. I get a lot of questions about my recovery and I want to start off by saying that it DEFINITELY didn’t happen over night. I mean, I was in denial that I was even suffering from any sort of eating disorder until one year into my recovery. A lot of people think that recovery is as easy as eating a damn cheeseburger, but it’s so more more than that. Eating disorders are a form of MENTAL ILLNESS. Mine was triggered by severe depression and anxiety. Like a lot of ED stories you may read, food and exercise were two variables that I had 100% control over. If calories in were less than calories out- I could see the scale drop. Well, letting the scale drop from 155 (what I am now, actually!) to 118 in 3 months is HELLA unhealthy. I have an obsessive personality so if I was going to recover I needed to focus that energy on something else. HELLO FIT FOODIE FINDS.

I give a lot of credit to this blog for helping to center my mind on what really is important in my life. It’s not about looking a certain way or doing the things that everyone else is doing, it’s living every day with purpose and lifting up those around me through positivity (and HUMOR). Woah, humor is a big one. If you ain’t laughin’, we got an issue people. I bring up humor because this is something that I really lost about myself during this dark time. I was so rigid and stark and boring. I am so happy to be back to my “normal” quirky/weird self because something that I truly believe is- “if you’re not weird, you’re boring.”

6 years later- a continuation of my eating disorder recovery story!

TODAY

I still have those moments where I hate the squishies on stomach and I think back to the time when I had a 6 pack and then I image getting slapped in the face with a raw piece of meat….because LIFE IS GOOD. I am proud of my body and what it does for me on a daily basis. I am proud that I can do an 8 mile hike up a Norwegian mountain and feel strong. I am proud that I can hold a plank for 2 minutes. I am proud that I can run a 5k without stopping. I am proud that I have to go up a size in pants because I have giant quads. I am also proud that I have surrounded myself with people in my life who are equally as proud of me for those things as I am.

Having an amazing tribe of people in my life has been key to my everyday happiness. Mark has been a wonderful addition to this tribe within the last year. Whether he knows it or not…he’s a body positive guy and makes me feel beautiful. Plus- he knew me when I was 17 and awkward. It’s the people like Mark, and Linley, and Emily, and Davida, and Lindsey, and Monique and my sister/brother/fam bam that reinsure me on a daily basis that I am not alone in this world of perfection. That it’s okay for me to eat a donut and it’s okay for me to have not one, but two or three rest days a week. WOAH. The cool thing is, I am finally okay with this, too.

6 years later- a continuation of my eating disorder recovery story!

I am in a good place right now even though the past year has been really tough for my health. Hello broken foot and worse than average seasonal depression (something I haven’t really touched on). Oh, and I also had a major breakup last May, which was really difficult on my mental health. All of THAT aside…I am happy. As dumb as this sounds- I love my life. I love it because I CHOSE to build it this way.

My message to those that suffer with an eating disorder, depression, anxiety, or any form of mental illness is that YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are exactly how you are suppose to be at this very moment.

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About Lee Funke

Lee is the founder of Fit Foodie Finds and based in Minneapolis, MN. She started this website in 2010 as a way to share her love for real food and wellness. The internet has changed so much since then and so has Fit Foodie Finds. Today we're a female-run recipe website publishing hundreds of tried and true recipes developed and tested by our team.

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Olivia Capasso
Olivia Capasso
December 19, 2017 10:31 am

All I can say is that I’m genuinely inspired. I’m in the early stages of my recovery, and LIFE IS AMAZING. I mean, who knew that clothes look SO MUCH better when theres a body inside them! Thank you for sharing.

Clare
Clare
November 18, 2016 9:13 pm

Hi Lee! I discovered your blog this afternoon, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t spend hours looking at your posts! What an incredible inspiration you are. You are truly beautiful inside and out! I absolutely love your recipes and even tried two of them today. In college I struggled with restrictive eating. Although I feel like I have finally found a balance of healthy eating and exercise, I have also found myself binging these past couple of weeks. Your blog has definitely inspired me to make some much needed changes in various aspects of my life– or, at least try to.

Thank you. Thank you for helping me work on self-love. & Thank you for posting beyond delicious recipes. If only the world had more people like you.

Xo,
Clare

Nina
November 18, 2016 1:48 pm

Loved reading this, Lee. So happy to hear about the good place you’re in right now. You are such a hard worker in every way.

Kelly @ Eat the Gains
November 16, 2016 8:51 am

Your story is so similar to mine and I’m sure so many others. I didn’t find you until a couples years ago, but so glad I can follow along in your journey. You inspire me not only with blogging but by being yourself (hello snapchat). I’m still working on putting myself out there, but thank you to being you and making a positive impact on the world!

Liza
November 16, 2016 3:05 am

Hi, Lee! Thank you so much for sharing your story! I CRIED when I was reading it… Because it just feel so familiar… Yes, at a certain point in life, especially when you feel like you aren’t in control of ANYTHING, you want to at least be in control of your body… To make it and keep it PERFECT! And if you’re prone to depression on top of it – here comes the full-blown eating disorder. It’s HARD to fight it. Because no matter how uncomfortable you may feel physically there is comfort in this sense of control… Thanks for encouraging, for sharing and for helping those (like me) who experience same things find the ways back to health and joy!!

Leigh
Leigh
November 15, 2016 10:31 pm

I love this post!! It is so nice to see people reflect on their past EDs and see all of the changes. I am about to hit my 8th month in recovery and it is SO inspiration to see people that have been in recovery for years!!! Congrats on six years! I love your blog and it has been helpful for me through my journey to know that I am not alone.

Katie
November 15, 2016 9:40 pm

Hooray for happiness!!! Miss you girl!